Thinking about having “the talk” with my son feels the same as watching Jaws for the first time. Da-Dum. Da-Dum… It’s scary and I can’t get away! I know it’s just a mechanical shark and no one actually got hurt, so why is talking to my son about sex such a frightening ordeal? I think the fear originates in feeling ill equipped or unprepared. What do my kids need to know? What do they want to know? What does God want them know?
One local school district begins “the talk” by teaching 3rd graders about the “3 -ates of the animal world”: defecate, urinate, and procreate. By the end of the 4th grade year, the curriculum focuses on how human bodies change in order to procreate. The “what” of sex is presented, but the “why” is absent.
I recall my gym teacher presenting “sex ed” like a real life Mr. Potato Head, the goal being to correctly label the diagram and pass the test. Unfortunately, the more influential sources of my sex education included television, late night cable movies and pornography that other guys brought to school. Clearly, this is not how or what I want my kids to learn.
Unfortunately, although my son isn’t in school, he’s already seen highly sexualized images. Not as a result of unrestricted access to mobile devices or Netflix but because he looked around in the checkout aisle of the grocery store. A few weeks back, a topless woman on a magazine cover caught my eye in the checkout aisle. Yes, in the checkout aisle right next to the candy display! Our kids are exposed to sexual saturation daily. Conclusion? The sex ed we find in most schools explains the what but rarely the why. We need to be ready to talk about the what of sex and more importantly the why.
Why sex? In Genesis chapter 2:21-24, we read of the first marriage. God created man and woman and gave them sex. This act unites husband and wife, brings joy and creates intimacy. Sex reflects a part of who God is; existing harmoniously in three persons: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. A closeness that we still can’t quite wrap our minds around. Similarly spouses can speak wordlessly with a raised eyebrow, a smile, or just a look. The richness of the relationship is such that often, words simply aren’t necessary. I want to help my kids understand God’s purposes for sex so they don't settle for Cosmopolitan’s.
Some resources to help you begin "the talk":
Christian Post
Covenant Eyes
Crosswalk
Focus on the Family
Josh McDowell